Gifts

Pretty early on this year we had a conversation in the house about support networks. This came on the heels of our anti-racism training and our discussion of our own white privilege. We were noting that there are things we can't give up - we can't make a sea change of how the TSA treats us based on our whiteness, we can't change our educational history based on white privilege- and some we can. I was challenged in a training once to consider giving up any inheritance I might receive, for example. Which brings us to our safety nets.

I'm not gonna lie: I have a wide safety net- I'm not in debt, I have parents who can help me if I need it, I have a warm and welcoming church community at St. Paul Ref who loves to support us even when not asked. And oh, do they do so when not asked. We're invited to dinner, to the Renaissance Festival, to take leftovers with us after every event the church has ever hosted. I've been given bags of "extra" groceries purchased "accidentally" completely unprompted. When I volunteer at Women's Advocates, the ladies of the housekeeping and kitchen staff pack me a bag lunch to take home afterwards.

Anyway, our conversation: this year we are, in theory, living simply. Part of the LVC experience is deciding what that means as individuals and as an intentional community. For me, it means trying my best to live within the stipend provided by LVC. Back in August we were questioning how our support networks play into that- the LSC, our families, our new friends. Simplicity doesn't, to me, mean that I should let my relationship with my family slide, so I choose to fly home to Rochester. When I'm very careful and allow myself to spend from future paychecks, it can be economically sustainable. You know, if I'm feeling free and loose with my definition of "sustainability" that day.

home to Rochester! this is seriously the only picture of the front of my house that I can find. aw, cute hamilton sisters!

I make exceptions. Where should I draw the line?

I don't know. I don't really know how different accepting plane fare from Dad is from not paying as much for groceries because we have leftover potatoes from SPR. It's not a way that people can live long term. It's just not sustainable. Any claims I make of doing a good job of living on my food stipend when I'm sharing the generosity of my larger community would ooze of ignorance and privilege.

So where does that leave my practice of simplicity and sustainability?

I don't know but hopefully it leaves Renaissance Fair in play because I am all about this elephant

After the Minnesotans United for All Families Faith Kick Off Pastor Anita and her partner Janelle gave me and Jamie rides home. On my way back with Janelle we stopped to pick up a gallon of milk for Beth Shalom and when we got to the check-out line, Janelle insisted on paying. I told her about the fact that people keep trying to give us things, and her response was, "People want to take part in what you're doing. This is how we can share in your experience."

There's some pop psychology out there about love languages, one of which is supposed to be showing love by giving gifts. I don't know how these gifts fit into the mold of simplicity or sustainability, but if I look at them as a symbol of love, it's hard to refuse them. I want to learn this year to treat others with more grace than I've been known for in the past, and that might need to start with replacing "I really couldn't," with "thank you."